That's a load of crock(ery)

Do you ever watch Good Eats with Alton Brown? One of his main philosophies is that you shouldn't have "unitaskers" in your kitchen. All of your appliances and utensils should be capable of being used for more than one task. For some strange reason I have the opposite philosophy. Oh sure it's ok for one item to be used for more than one thing (for example I use the same vegetable peeler on my potatoes as I do on my cucumbers), but I seek out things that have only one use. I am especially fond of serving pieces that are "unitaskers."

Every Christmas, when the roast is in the oven, we put out a spread of appetizers. We have cheese and crackers, crudites, and smoked salmon. We have always had the smoked salmon on an white oval platter which seemed to be perfect. Perfect, that is, until I got it in my head that I needed a fish platter. So I spent nearly a year hunting for the platter that would display two pieces of smoked salmon for one hour once a year. I woke up early on Saturday mornings to be the first one at yard sales in nice neighborhoods - the type of neighborhoods where people used platters to serve smoked salmon. Every single day I looked on ebay to see if I could find something. Whenever a new Williams-Sonoma catalog would arrive in my mailbox I'd hold my breath hoping that "the" fish plater would be in it.

Finally, in October I found a fish platter I loved on ebay. It was white with a Japanese style fish design on it. It also had flecks of gold. I checked on it everyday and was shocked that I was the only one who bid on it. Didn't anyone else need a fish platter for their Christmas smoked salmon? When it arrived I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was even more beautiful in real life. I washed it by hand and put it in the pantry with the other platters (don't ask what they are all for). Sometime in November Geoff made steak and (gasp) served it on the fish platter. I couldn't believe it since we do have steak platters. Why would he put steak on a platter decorated with fish? It made no sense to me, but some people just don't understand the sanctity of serving pieces.

Christmas Day I took out the salmon. I made the cream cheese and dill spread. I put out the little pieces of rye bread. I asked Geoff to get down the fish platter (I can't reach without pulling everyhing down). He came out of the pantry and said it wasn't there. What! I got on the stepstool and went through each platter (once again, don't ask) but there was no fish platter. I looked in the drawer that holds miscellaneous serving pieces (Passover Seder plate, Geoff's mothers Heisey things, etc) but there was no fish plate. I went downstairs to see if it got mixed in with my heavier serving pieces (mostly Wilton Armetale) but it wasn't there. I looked in the china cabinets because maybe, just maybe it was put with my Blue Willow or good china. It wasn't there. So once again the smoked salmon was served on the white oval platter. It tasted good, but not as good as it would have tasted on a dedicated fish platter.

How can a platter just disappear? Did it get up and leave my house because it was insulted by having steak served on it? Did one of the cats, attracted by the fish pattern, break it and hide the pieces? Right now those are the two most likely scenerios.

So now, come yard sale season I will have to go out and start looking for another fish platter. But while I'm out there I'm also going to look for a plate with depressions that holds the deviled eggs I make for Easter.